I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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