Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
