He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
