but the lizard people decide everything anyway
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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