What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
