I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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