I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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