Need sex. Gaining weight.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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