youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize