Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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