Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
