Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
