I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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