using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
