I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize