i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
