I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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