Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
