I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
