Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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