We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
