so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
