y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
