laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
