oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
