the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
