Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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