Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
