i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize