Capitaan dildo arrescate!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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