I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
