He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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