so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
