1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
