Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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