Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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