let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
