Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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