this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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