Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it hurts more in the daytime
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
