I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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