Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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