I hate your face
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
