Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
