Kiss
Puke
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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