it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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