This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
