That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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