Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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