I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
