But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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