The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
