But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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