I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
barbara walters just said penis...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
worst night to have a conscience
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
