You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You work out of a Hotel?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
did i walk over a car last night?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
