i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
