I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
