Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
