So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
