did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
