im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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