I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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